I am listening

When was the last time you gave to yourself what you give to others

When did you last tell someone you loved them

When was the last time you said this to yourself

We say I love you to others

We want to hear these words back

We look for love from others

We ask others to fill what is missing

Can we be responsible to ourselves

Our most important role

is taking care of our deeper self

You are allowed to be selfish

Because in being selfish

you allow yourself to fill your cup

Thus having the ability to give back to others

You have so much love to give,

Begin with yourself

Give yourself permission to love yourself first

Allow your heart to come out from hiding

Be here

Look at yourself

How beautiful you are

Behind your mask

We allow rejection to thwart our attempts to reach our goals and dreams

We walk backward

and sit in the seat of discomfort .

To rob the joy of the moment

steal our dreams

Stand up and walk forward

Nothing in you is lacking

Allow the abundance of peace, hope and dreams to hold you

Support you

We choose our identity

We have an image

We splinter ourselves to fill so many roles

Serving our ego, serving others

Ask “Are you speaking to your heart”

Living in your truth?

Don’t be afraid to be seen

Expose your vulnerability

Celebrate your beautiful secret

You are exquisite

Behind your mask

Be you

be a beautiful dreamer

Quieten yourself now

And Say

I love you

I am listening

And really listen

Find your pot of dreams at the end of a rainbow

Becoming….

Through life’s dirty windows

We feel the presence of dread

The absence of clarity

How do we see the path ahead

*

Split between worlds

Of mayhem and order

Masked and invisible

Promise at the next corner

*

A kaleidoscope is framed

A new dream in construction

Veiled in aspiration

Release of havoc and destruction

*

On our knees we give thanks

Of past lies untold

Victory to our world

As truth and integrity unfold

*

Gratitude to those

Who stand up and fight

Clearing our path

From blunder, we grow into right

*

We are in the beginning of becoming ……

*

In response to SueVincents writephoto challenge

#opposingforces

#fowc

#rdp

#writephoto

#godoggocafe

My secret

My secret

My heart skipped a beat when I first saw you walk in. You were my secret

Tingles of excitement raced through my body. You were my secret

Every day at the same time I watched the doorway, to see you walking through. I knew you were the one. I kept you secret

Then you smiled at me. I relived that smile a thousand times. Everything inside me screamed ” you are the one” I kept my secret

Did you know that you affected me that way?

Then you spoke to me, did I imagine the look in your eyes? Did I see a secret spark? A spark burning from the same fire, that burns in me.

I watch you secretly, wondering if you watch me back.

Am I your secret too?

You are my first thought every morning.

I dream in secret, that you are holding me in your arms, I hear your unspoken promises, that you love me too.

You are my secret, am I yours too?

Am I fooling myself?

If not, never let the words “I love you too” go untold

I choose life

Fandangos Friday Flashback May 29

#fff

There is so much to say

I can not hear your voice

Break your silence

Let us not whisper

There is no longer any choice

*

Can I be your voice

Share what’s in your heart

I speak, I shout, on your behalf

Lies and truths I shall impart

*

On your behalf

I set upon the world your

sad & unfair story

Leave your footprints on our souls

In future days I wish a wisp of glory

*

Those without a voice

Let us fight your war

We will not let you be forgotten

Even though we can’t hear you anymore

*

They prevail over you

they dominate

They take your choices

Give you cause to hate

*

Yet you don’t

*

We share your stories

In anticipation

Surround you with our love

Educate a nation

*

I make a wish

I could protect you

I will always be your voice

I pick you

I love you

I respect your choice

You choose life

I pray for you

#fowc

Being Mum

What started out as a birthday wish for you mum, has extended into an expression of words and thoughts.

Thank you for a brilliant childhood. Thank you for being my rock, my tree to lean against. Thank you for being my sunshine on dark days and showing me the way home and remaining my home even as an adult.

Thank you for teaching me and allowing me to grow into the person I am. You watched my wins and you watched my fails and I was always met with the same response, a big hug and oh I love you darlin.

I remember so clearly you walking me to kinder school and to see my teacher Miss Bonny. You would always leave me with a kiss and an “I love you”

Oh how I loved kinder and my teacher, then when you would pick me up, how you would listen to me rattle on about what happened that day. I know I was the ultimate chatterbox. I must have driven you mad, but you never ever told me to be quiet.

Wherever we would walk, it was always so fast because you had to get to work, to earn money to look after us; you were the breadwinner, the handyman, and the cook, the jack-of-all-trades.

I also remember how you always held my hand. Firstly the long walk to kinder, then primary school. We never had a car; we didn’t need it, did we? You would walk me right into the school gates, holding my hand, kissing me goodbye and telling me you loved me

I would see other kids walking to school on their own and I would think to myself why won’t my mum let me do that? I can’t wait to be grown up enough to be allowed to walk to school on my own.

As an adult and a mother, I now think, “Where were the mothers”? Not with the thoughts that they were not looked after or cared about, more the thoughts of, how sad that, whatever the reason, they did not get to cherish those moments, of holding their child’s hands as you walked them to school.

I am so glad that you were the kind of mother you were. I am so glad, you walked me to school, kissed me goodbye, and told me you loved me, daily. I loved that you did that and it has made me the same kind of mother. I always kiss my boys hello and goodbye and tell them I love them and they respond, they have never been embarrassed, because it is what we do and it is our way, our family. I love our family!

Each day our kids leave us for yet another day of learning, each day they walk out of our houses, they are one day older and one day closer to adult hood, then one day in 15 years time, they will no longer want to hold your hand.

If only, back then, if we thought about 15 years down the track, realise that every moment with your children is so special, so sacred.

They grow up so fast.

Is it possible to wish time away? It’s a tough role in life, being a parent, I know.

You are so tired. You are working, you are trying to do house work, trying to read to the children, trying to cook dinner, all the while trying to be a walking encyclopedia or these days Google or Siri. They ask a lot of questions, well mine did, especially my youngest. Why, but why, how?

Then they get a little bit older and the kids start to wish the time away and as a mum we start to wish it would slow down.

When I was 12 I would wish I were 15, because I would be able to go to the pictures on my own. Seventeen to me was a magical age; it seemed to be a romantic age. I have no idea why, but I always remember thinking I can’t wait to be 17. Then I was, and then I wished I were 18 so I could drive a car and go to the pub. Then I wished I was 21 and so it goes.

I was a wisher, I wanted to grow up, and I wanted to live my life. I was impatient I couldn’t wait for the next adventure.

We are always wishing for something. As a teenage, our first kiss, our first drink, our driving license, our first boyfriend, a car and job. Never stop wishing or dreaming, but stop wishing your life away. It goes fast enough as it is.

As a child, you would say don’t grow up too fast. I would think yeah yeah mum.

Our memories, how wonderful they are. We record everything. Our mind is a vault, full of beautiful memories. Then one small event can open up a flood of beautiful memories something that you had forgotten, that was all locked away for many years, and then they are there again. Real, brought back to life and they are all encompassing.

I have a memory, and it depicts you and your parenting skills perfectly.

I can’t remember exactly what I did that was naughty, perhaps I answered you back, and that really was the only naughty thing I did ha ha. You had been brushing my hair and you gave me a smack on the bum with the hairbrush. I cried not because you hurt me but because I hurt you. You cried, because you thought you hurt me, you offered me the hairbrush, and you said you to me” Hit me back, with the brush side” with tears in your eyes. I didn’t take the brush and I couldn’t hit you back.

Thank you for teaching me in the gentlest way

You were not strict but you had a moral expectation of me. How not to fight, do right by people, do not take what is not yours, do not lie, be kind and be gentle with your words. More than being scared of any repercussions for punishment for something I may have done wrong, however re reading the story I have just expressed, you weren’t very good at punishment in any case, my discipline came to me, by way of, I did not want to disappoint you,

If I did something wrong, what hurt me the most, was the look of disappointment on your face.

Memories, they are like a movie of the best times of our lives and the saddest and all of those in between. Are they as we actually remember them, or are they embellished to satisfy our current desires, maybe photo shopped?

Really does it matter, they are our memory, so what if we make them a little more colorful, beautiful, happier. We own them!

I am middle age now, so have the best times of our lives past?

Not a chance. I speak on behalf of you as well mum. You are still living the most fabulous life.

I open my memory vault regularly, and I have so many cherished memories, from my own life, but also, from our life together too, mum.

You always make me laugh, our boys and the girl’s laugh, you, make people happy.

You did give me a good giggle the other day, when you rang me to tell me that you’d had your fish and chips for your birthday lunch with your friends and you needed to let me know how good they were. Your words “they were so bloody good” I love how the simple things in life bring you so much joy.

Mum you have something special in you that are rare. Your love of the simple things in life, the smallest thing can bring you so much joy. You have never been one to need or want trinkets and jewellery, fancy cars or grand houses, I don’t think I can ever recall you saying I wish I had, because what you had, you were truly grateful for.

If we could bottle that essence that you have, that quality that you have, you would be a millionaire. 10 times over.

We have had some incredible adventures during our friendship and our mother daughter years. Have we finished making memories, no way. There is so many more to come. I can’t wait to make more with you. Every minute with you is treasured, every experience and adventure with you is enshrined.

So we are making a new memory for your 85th birthday, you are coming to my house and your kindness of heart, you’re bigger than yourself heart, wanted to know what I wanted for dinner. We will get that Thai stuff that you like. Ha ha hah because you wanted to please me over yourself.

Well it is not happening today, your 85th birthday is all about you. Our family will be all around you, celebrating you, with you, loving you, laughing with you and just being with you.

They say the proof is in the pudding, I woke up this morning post birthday celebrations and lay there thinking how lucky I was to have this family. How beautiful my boys treat you and treat me, and that is something that has been learned. High-five mum we’ve done a great

I am surrounded by love and my heart is full with love and gratitude for what I have in you and my children.

Celebrating my mum my guardian

Featuring Sue Vincent photo for her writephoto challenge

Through the eye of a painter

I painted a picture

So lush

And full of life

Full of passion

Arousing a little strife

🌹

This picture tells a story

Of expansion

And Renewal

Where life can be beautiful

and on occasions brutal

🌹

This pictured I painted

Dreams of magical hues

Like a rose that will bloom

Glistening in the morning dews

🌹

Through the eye of the painter

A life anew

As the painter walks away from old

A thought

Will “I miss you”

🌹

Changes

Changes in time

One by one

A fleeting moment appreciated

A new beginning in time has just begun

*

Listen to your heart

Trust this dance

Breathe, breath after breath

Seduced by the idea of romance

*

Small ideas can fill the heart

A whisper of hope

Speak your words

Paradise settles on a slippery slope

*

As the mountains turn to sand

Navigating as time goes by

The sunrises and sunsets

Brilliance shines in the sky

*

Like a flower blooms

The desire, to touch, ever so light

Turn down the noise

So I can touch you just right

*

I will write the script

To open your heart

You are my prose, my poetry

Thank you for being the realest part

*

Photograph

Photograph the moment

Surrender to life

Be open to living

Manoeuvre the heartache and strife

*

Emotions unmasked

Understated, not forgotten

Cherish the tenderness

From the heart befallen

*

Wear your love like a glove

The Unmasking of worth

Life is a succession of letting go

For creation of new birth

*

Escape the prison of your mind

Imagine the reality of life perfect

A new opportunity to fall in love

Remember the promise

Then reflect

*

The smile

The laugh

That moment

You took the photograph

The photograph

#rdp

#fowc

Dancing with the Rose

Yesterday a Rose

Dance within her rosy hues

She will tease you with her scent

Exquisiteness seduces before your eyes

The intoxicating essence remains present

*

Harmony as her petals fall away

her soul laid bare

Potent yet vulnerable

Dancing around an impassioned affair

*

A circle of Intimacy

Spiralling, then wilting

A rare beauty faded

Heady nakedness

Disclosed

Then

Blooming and re-opening

Remember

Even when exposed

That

Every rose has thorns

“If you enjoy the fragrance of a rose, you must accept the thorns which it bears.” – Isaac Hayes

A rose’s rarest essence lives in the thorn.” – Rumi

Sue Vincent writephoto challenge